Gardens
As Sport
by Geoff Daigle
January 18 , 2001:
What's a Grecian
urn? Not nearly enough, we say, and that's the problem.
Over the years,
baby boomer men have pretty much lost most of the important tests
of manhood that gave them their self esteem.
They've given
up playing football for watching it on TV. They've given up the
muscle cars and sports cars of their youth for minivans, and SUVs
that never go off the road.
So what have
real men, who still possess a hint of testosterone in their systems,
been doing to keep their competitive spirits alive in suburbia?
Gardening,
of course.
Manly Pursuits
And we're not talking about any overly Martha-ized version here.
This is serious, heavy iron, out-do-the-guy-next-door-at-any-cost
gardening. Big urns, statues, fountains, structures, planters
and pots.
You know.
BIG STUFF. Throw in a few loads of gravel for walkways and some
heavy rocks for landscaping. These are things a man can break
a sweat doing, and be proud of when he's done. Whatever the missus
wants to do afterwards with plants is up to her. But by gum, a
man feels good when he's built something in his yard. Tim Allen
would understand.
Oh, and did
we mention it has to be bigger than the Alpha male's garden next
door? Not only that, if a guy can be the savvier hunter and find
some old urn that's better, bigger, or more expensive, he scores
extra over-the-fence points. That's the sport. 90% physical,10%
mental.
A Good
Game Ruined
Up until now this has not been a game for those men who are timid
with their wallets. Antiques and European imports have kept costs
high. But a company named Gardenzilla.com now threatens to change
the rules in this high-stakes manly contest. Gardenzilla.com is
an e-commerce source for big garden ornaments made mostly in Asia
and the U.S..
Now, instead
of guys devoting hundreds of hours, chasing around to dozens of
sources, to find originals they can pay thousands of dollars for,
Gardenzilla.com lets just any average Joe pick things out on the
Internet. No hunting. No bargaining. No lugging things home in
the SUV. It's horrible and unfair. And worst of all, it's relatively
cheap. A lot of stuff's in the $29 to $389 range.
Admittedly,
Gardenzilla.com's urns and other ornaments are new items, but
they do look old and original. There's plenty of the real cast
iron items, but they also have things that only appear to be cast
iron or bronze. But actually they're - brace yourself men - fiberglass.
Where's the fun in that? It's getting so a guy can't even break
a sweat or fake a slipped disc around here anymore.
Gone With
The Web
So it appears that we've gone one step past beating our swords
into plowshares. We've now melted our cannons into garden urns.
What's left for guys? Needlepoint? Even worse, instead of using
perfectly good fiberglass to create icons of "guydom" like surfboards
and boats, Gardenzilla.com's using it to make urns that don't
need three guys and a six pack to lift.
Guess it's
inevitable that the War of the Gardens would be eventually be
ruined by efficiency and affordability. Chalk up a win for the
Internet. But real men will always find something to battle over.
There's still that simmering feud about who has the bigger backyard
barbeque. And wherever there's risk of physical harm, men will
gather and compete. That's the beauty of sports. Call toll free
1-877-977-8774 or order on the web at www.gardenzilla.com.
# # #
Contact: Geoff
Daigle
Daigle Design Inc.
180 Olympic Drive SE
Bainbridge Island, WA 98110
206-842-5356
geoff@daigle.com
Release date
01/18/01
This article
is a press release for Gardenzilla.com and is posted for unlimited
reproduction and use at
http://www.gardenzilla.com/company/press_releases/press.html
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